Venerable or Vulnerable

We are all used to thinking of young people as vulnerable, particularly when it comes to being played by scammers and con artists. I recently came to the startling conclusion that older people are targets too.

I have been the victim of a magazine scam perpetrated by a slimy telemarketing company calling itself US Magazine Service. It is located in LoLo, Montana, of all places. I received several magazines like ESPN and Outside, despite the fact that I made it very clear that I did not wish their services and have no interest in sports. Without my knowledge, they were billing my bank card. I had to cancel the card when I found out.

I have made complaints to the regional Better Business Bureau and am posting warnings to others about these guys on various social media. I find that I am far from alone. Look at this business site and this site for complaints  I even found a Montana court case they lost for the same kind of behavior. 

Looking at all of this, I found that most of the victims were kids who seem to have fallen for exactly the same con as I did. I guess we have something in common, but I can’t say that I am happy about what it is. I did not have a lot of fun at 18, but I had a lot more ahead of me.

 

I could make excuses. I was very sick when I talked to these guys. But, the fact is, they managed to play me.

Oh well, I am giving them some publicity on various social media, including local newspaper web forums in Montana, other web forums and blogs, Facebook, Twitter and so on. I am writing to their magazines. There is an old hillbilly saying about the way to kill a snake. “Lift up the rock and let the sumbitch die in the sun.”

Age, youth and disability may make us vulnerable, but we can still fight back–and I intend to.

The Boom Arrives!!

A month ago the people at New Jersey Transit, without prompting, informed me that, based on my appearance, I was a senior and eligible for reduced fares. That was okay with me. I have been riding as a senior ever since. I did not know that their definition of “senior” meant “over 62″.

Just recently, I am seeing a very different attitude that pretty clearly shows the results of a memo from a pretty lofty level of the bureaucracy. I cannot buy senior tickets without showing ID. As it happens, that is really no problem for me, but it is is an indiction that something has happened.

My guess is that the number of “seniors” has drastically increased and that NJT is assuming that some of these new ones may be bogus. I do not know about you, but I am finding more and more situations where I have to show identification to prove my age in order to receive benefits based on it–despite the fact that, unfortunately, I look my age–and then some.

It may be an indication that the baby boom has begun to affect all of these “senior services” by increasing the number of eligible people. That is pretty much what I think is going on. Anyone out there who has a story that either confirms or denies this notion? Please comment.

Of course, we all know that it couldn’t possibly be about the money. (When they say it isn’t about the money, it’s about the money.)

Aging and the Body

I am supposed to be at a Yard Sale for Next Step today and I just could not make it. I spent most of last night getting up and going to the bathroom. My digestive system was totally out of whack. I will spare you the details. I ended up getting about four hours of sleep and, early this morning, was just not in any kind of shape to go anywhere.

The thing is, I cannot really think of any good reason for it. I followed the rules of my diet religiously yesterday and just did not take anything in that should have caused this. This just seems to come on more or less randomly. I can go for a month without an episode like this–and then it happens–and keeps me from doing my work. I hate that. I have just never experienced this kind of thing before.

I guess I am just going to have to get used to the idea that there will be days I cannot work–though here I am writing a blog post. I am just not sure how to get used to this, though I am pretty sure that I have to. Doing what I do, you have to go on the road, take pictures and videos, and come home and write it up. You cannot do everything from the Internet.

So, tell me: What do I do about this?

 

 

 

Body and Mind

I have gone through all of the difficult physical stuff, but that is not the worst of it.

I have always been considered an easy-going, friendly guy. I have worked with hundreds of people–and many of them have worked for me. I have never, in my entire life, gotten the impression that anyone found me aggressive or overbearing. Now, I am getting that kind of feedback.

I honestly do not know how that could happen. I am not aware of treating anyone any differently than I have treated others, over the years. There are several different responses I could have to this. I could assume that these people have something against me and are projecting that onto me, but the problem with that is that the same feedback is coming from several different people. I really have to look at this, as painful as it is.

I have to assume that there is truth to what these people are saying–that I am coming across that way–like it or not. What I cannot figure out is what to do about it. If I do not know that it is happening, how can I know when it is happening? What can I do to stop it, given all that?

I guess I never before realized how much the body affects the mind, and vice versa. What really hurts is that I hate the thought of being someone I do not like, whether I can help it or not–and I have always prided myself on meeting people on the level and the square. If that is no longer the case, and I cannot tell why or when, what can I do to change it?

All I can think of is communicating with the people I do business with and asking them to please give me feedback if I am coming across in an unpleasant way. If any of you are reading this, I would appreciate it if you would do that. I can only tell you that I will do whatever I can to correct the way I am relating to you. I am still the same person I have always been underneath all this and all I can tell you is that I do not want to be the person I am apparently appearing to be–in some instances, at least. It is very, very important to me.

I promise that I will listen and try to modify the way I am relating to you. I will not bite your head off. I will not yell at you. I will try to be who I am.

Call Me Old-fashioned–And Then Duck

Old Boys at the Town Hall

 

Ethan and I attended a town hall meeting on healthcare given by U.S. Representative Bill Pascrell at Montclair State University on September 3 in the afternoon. If you read the article I have linked above, you might get the impression that it turned into something of a donnybrook. Among the attendees, there was an extremely vocal minority opposed to health care reform. They interupted the discussion repeatedly with shouts and boos.  In essence, they turned what was meant to be an open discussion of healthcare reform between a congressman and his constituents into, pardon the expression, an uncivil war.

If you read the articles about this event, you might also come to the conclusion that the crowd was equally divided between those supporting healthcare reform and those opposed to it.

You would be wrong. Ethan and I were sitting directly in front of the three boxes where attendees deposited questions for Pascrell. I filed a good many of them for people who could not reach. To me, anyway, it seemed quite clear that the crowd had a strong majority of supporters of  reform. All you had to do was look at the three stacks. And, in fact, it seemed to me that many of those who counted themselves as undecided actually support reform–but have some reservations about the current political process in the House and Senate in Washington.

I am a strong supporter of free speech. I will listen to any reasoned argument. I am not, however, inclined to give much credence to those who express themselves by shouting and disrupting what should be, for any American, an ancient and revered process, going back to the very beginnings of this nation.

I am sorry to have to say that some in favor of reform responded by acting in the same childish manner. If we cannot have a reasoned debate of an important social issue, respecting the rights of all, we have lost contact with the fundamentals of citizen advocacy.

I am personally also of the opinion that the manner in which the discussion was conducted fed into the conflict. Pascrell and his aides moved from box to box selecting a question from each to respond to. This, to my mind, fed the misapprehension that the crowd was somehow equally divided between supporters and opponents of reform. If questions had been chosen at random from the whole stack, I feel that a more correct impression would have emerged.

I also think that a discussion like this should be moderated by an independent moderator, not by one of the parties, despite the fact that Representative Pascrell ended up doing quite a good job of handling the hecklers. At first, it seemed that he was losing his patience with them and then, at about the halfway point, he went strictly North Jersey on them–his accent even changed at that point. To put it bluntly, he got in their faces.

Okay, call me old-fashioned, but it troubles me that good manners, civil conduct and rational dialogue no longer have an honored place in America. I am sticking to my guns. Maybe I took social studies too seriously, but I learned that my rights end where yours begin, and vice versa. Using your right to free speech to interfere with the free speech of others is unacceptable. What those hecklers were doing is just plain wrong. If you are one of them, go ahead and comment, but, uh, I moderate the comments. And I spent a good part of the last ten years tracking  and deleting people who misbehave online. It will be just like old times. I am not a big fan of online incivility either. Go ahead, give it a shot. If you make a civil, reasoned argument, I will approve it. If you misbehave, you are busted.

Oh well, there is an upside to everything. Pretty soon our founding fathers rolling in their graves might well become a promising source for green energy. 

Aging and the Mind

Yesterday, my old buddy Ethan Ellis sent me an article on aging. The old bugger is always, always reading–and sharing what he reads. (I have a whole stack of books he has lent me that I am trying to finish.) I can only hope that I will still be as open to new ideas as Ethan B. when and if I reach his age. Old people are supposed to be cranky, closed-minded and fuzzy. Oh well, one out of three ain’t bad.

The article makes the point that the whole experience of aging is largely in your mind. If you are convinced that you are aging, you are. Positive social contact is, as well, something of an antidote to the experience of social isolation and inevitable age-related limitations. I know that from personal experience. You end up walking around in circles talking to yourself, convincing yourself that you can’t do anything any more. I went through all of that.

I can’t forbear saying that attending Next Step events has been helpful to me in getting through that painful experience. For one thing, I get to interact with some good friends. I get to see some brave souls moving forward despite limitations that make mine look pretty trivial. I get to make myself useful.

Having said that, my limitations are real. Ten years ago, I could bench 315 pounds and throw a wicked sidekick. I was 60 pounds heavier and took two or three aspirin a year. I am now the same weight I was as a sophmore in high school and take a handful of pills every night. I am still big, strong and more than a little dangerous, but I am not what I was and I have to live with that. I have to live through days when my digestion acts up and makes it hard for me to work.

This has not been easy.  I have worked my way through the denial phase. Now I have to move past acceptance and take the next step and move on.

More Generational Differences

I have discussed this before, but I have a new take on it. There really is a huge difference between the kids and us older folks when it comes to the use of social media. In general, we just do not get it.

It is very, very difficult to maintain an online social network involving older users. They will stick with you as long as you continually seed the site with new, interesting content, but, unlike the kids, they do not tend to build a sustained network that basically creates its own content. In short, they tend to see themselves as an audience, not a community. If you get busy doing something else or get discouraged by the lack of real participation, the whole thing turns silent. You have to keep feeding it.

That was pretty much our experience with the Next Step Facebook group.  It maintained some reasonable traffic as long as we kept posting new stuff. When we slowed down, it went quiet. We have decided to try to get it moving again. I have messaged all of the members. I am hoping that we can get people to come back and participate this time, not just read. The only other solution I can think of is to attract a younger crowd who will be more active participants.

Consumer Reports Shows its Colors

My young friend Rudy Sims recently got a blog post on his disability resource exchange website  regarding the fact that Consumer Reports does not evaluate the appliances and devices that people with disabilities use. While some devices do get evaluated–largely because they are also used for other purposes, there is no specific category for disability equipment.

This should be seen as an issue potentially affecting all of us. I do not use a scooter, like Ethan does. I do not use a walker like my friend Weezee. But the last two years have taught me a hard lesson. Someday, and it might not be very far away, I very well may need a mobility device to get around. If my eyesight gets any worse,  I may need to use screen magnification to use a computer. I guess the central point is that a lot of people with age-related disabilities require devices, appliances and software to stay involved in work and life. I may not currently be one of them, but, if the last two years have taught me anything, it is that, even a big, strong guy who benched 315 pounds can end up needing the same help and equipment that people with lifelong disabilities require. Ethan always teases me about my reluctance to admit that I have a disability. He will probably be surprised to hear that I have been listening to him.

I have, just recently, come to terms with the fact that I am facing an increasing number of limitations. Eventually, I can well imagine that they might include problems that require mobility devices and who knows what else. I am hoping that Consumer Reports will recognize that, as us boomers age, this kind of hardware and technology is going to become a bigger and bigger market. If they can’t do it because it is the right thing to do, maybe this will help.

Another Bad Patch

I have had about two weeks of more misery.  It has mostly been the same old stuff–gastric pain and everything that goes with it. I have been mostly on a diet of protein shakes. I have gotten to be something of an expert in making them. I use frozen apples, because of the healthy fiber. I add some oat bran and probiotic yoghurt. I pour in some milk and add a scoop of protein powder and some non-sugar sweetener. I blend it and it actually tastes pretty good. It is a bit boring, of course, when that is all you eat. I change it up every now and then with some strawberries or blueberries.

Funny thing about is that this is pretty much the same thing I used to drink before lifting weights. I guess there is some irony there. I am mostly doing it because I cannot seem to keep anything else down and currently have almost no appetite. In the past, I used it to help build muscle and now I am trying to stop losing it.

I really miss real food. I have always enjoyed all kinds of ethnic foods–Mexican, Indian, Thai and so on. Now, I just cannot eat them. I have to admit that this makes me sad. I miss enjoying dinner–and not seeing it as a potential threat to my health.

Not Exactly Willie Nelson

I am back on the road again. I spent the last three days roaming around New Jersey to various writing jobs. Now, I get to take a day off—and back at it tomorrow.

I have been using New Jersey Transit, rather than driving. I don’t have a car at the moment and I keep remembering that day a couple of weeks ago when it took me an hour and a half to go eight miles down the Garden State Parkway. I could walk faster.

So I decided to take the buses and trains. It sometimes doesn’t take any longer than driving and I can write on my laptop, listen to music on my MP3 player and maybe even read a book.

I have done all this before, back when I was freelance in the old days. The only problem I have with this is that I am about twenty years older now.

If you are another aging boomer, you will probably recognize what the major problem with this form of transportation is. NJT trains do not have bathrooms and you cannot pull one over at a rest stop. I don’t know about you, but I find it necessary to visit the bathroom much more frequently these days than I did in the past—and the urge to urinate rapidly becomes urgent and even painful. A train ride can easily become a form of torture. I try to evacuate completely before getting on the train and usually end up sprinting for the bathroom.

It makes this form of transportation far less accessible for me than it was in years past and that makes the kind of work I am doing a whole lot harder. Any suggestions? (The first one to mention diapers gets a punch in the mouth.)